No Jackets

this calls for some tuneskies

If Euro 2012 teams were bands…

I’ve combined my two passions into one post. With The European championships now two days old, I decide I’d try to compare each team to a band. Interested to know opinions because there were a few countries I struggled with.

Group A

Russia  – Foster The People
Young, energetic and a dark horse for the tournament. The Russians have an exciting and fast-paced game, much similar to how Foster the People took the world by storm last year. It is unknown how they will hold up under the pressure though.

Czech Republic – Red Hot Chili Peppers
Having had periods of dominance in the 90s, the Czechs are nowhere near their former glory. Key figures have left the group, much like the departure of john Frusciante from the Chilis, leaving a disappointing figure in recent times.

Poland  –  The Monkees
The Monkees tried to jump into the slipstream of The Beatles. Sure, they had some reasonable success but never to the extent of their bigger brothers. Poland are the same with Germany. Always desperate to impress their neighbours, the Polish are still spewing that the Germans nabbed two of their own; Lukas Podolski and Miro Klose

Greece – Nickelback
Boring, yet maintain a strong support. Despite their output being far from attractive they’ve somehow found success by doing the same thing over and over again.

Group B

Netherlands – Florence + The Machine
Fan favourites, with their history of beautiful football and a generally well-received line-up. But at the end of the day, that bright orange will be sticking in your head.

Germany – Radiohead
This German team is one of the best in the world, and have consistently been at the top of their game for the past decade and a half. Having undergone various performance adjustments, the current formation is vastly different from the style of the 90s. There’s a distinct similarity between Mesut Ozil and Thom York as well.

Portugal – Queen
Despite a number of more than capable supporting casts members, all eyes are on the one person. The team’s success will revolve around how Cristiano Ronaldo plays, much the same way Freddie used to own the stage

Denmark – Pulp
A team that in any other situation would be a great chance to move onto the next round. Drawn in the group of death, Denmark are unlikely to qualify, much like Pulp, who could never compete with Blur and Oasis when BritPop was at its peak.

Group C

Spain – Arcade Fire
Until a few years ago they were considered underachievers, but success in recent years has catapulted them to international superstars.

Italy – Kings of Leon
Despite being a highly respected group for most of their career, they exploded a few years ago to great success. These days, the squad is littered with in-fighting and corruption that will definitely distract them from their on-field performance

Croatia – Sigur Ros
A favourite for those in the know, while they may not have the familiarity as some of the bigger teams, they have a reasonable shout for attention. Filled with a variety of textures capable of gelling to an impressive whole.

Republic of Ireland – U2

An aging group that haven’t changed their line-up in years. There was a point when they could be considered decent, but there current performances are nothing like what we have witnessed in their past.

Group D

England – Oasis
At the end of the golden years, the English have underwhelming squad considering they are usually considered to be a superpower. There is less expectation this time around as more attention will be on the egos in the squad rather than the performances on the pitch.

France – The Killers
They have been great entertainers in the past, but recent years have not been kind to them. While The Killers were on hiatus, France have been embarrassing themselves in major tournaments. Either way, both are due a comeback this year, and will hope to restore their former glory.

Ukraine – MGMT
Quite an unknown quantity. On their day, they can be quite impressive, but lack consistency to threaten the big players.

Sweden – The Stooges
No matter how well the team performs, eyes will always be on their eccentric front man.


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